Anonymous??

Have you ever had a day where you wish you could pour your heart out anonymously? Asking questions and no one being revealed.

Every time in You've Got Mail where Meg Ryan's character says she wants to send a question out into oblivion, I sigh, "me, too". Technically, I guess I don't really want counsel from people who don't know me and I don't want people I don't know speaking into my life.

I'm grateful the Holy Spirit is called along side us to help. Though He knows everyone He never tells my secrets. I can send a question out and He'll send an answer back, maybe not as a comment on a blog but with answers on pages just for me.

Recently a friend called with a dream and in it my children were having a playdate, but the very things they were doing were things they really would do. She's not really spent any time with my children and I knew the Lord was revealing how He knew every detail of what happens, of what's working and of what's not.

I'm grateful He knows. I'm grateful He will help.

John 16:13 NLT When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future.

Week Three

Hello, Devoted Girls. I’m over half way through the book. Amazing things are happening as I have opened my heart to my Pursuer. I told a friend the other day, if I’d known when Jesus walks back through your wounds with you it doesn’t hurt as bad as the first time, I would have done it years ago. I think many of us have memories continuing to flash across our minds and we’re rebuking the enemy instead of realizing God is whispering, “Can I come in and heal this?” I’m excited about recognizing the ways He’s been talking to me and drawing me. I’m hearing Him speak to me throughout the day, because the things that have caused His voice to be distorted for so long are being removed.

There’s a movie where the star talks about how the man of her dreams will know her. He’ll know she always wants extra dressing and how to create the ‘perfect bite’. I can still see her (because I have it on DVD) placing each perfectly sized piece of lettuce, carrot, radish, celery, olive (or whatever) on her fork to make the ‘perfect bite’. When ‘he’ comes he tells how fascinating he finds her and how he loves the way she meticulously creates the ‘perfect bite’. This is a glimpse into God’s perspective of us. We fascinate Him. He appreciates everything about us, especially the things no one else notices. He is enamored with us-inflamed with love and captivated by our uniqueness. May you open your heart to Him today and allow Him to heal your deepest places. He is waiting for you.

Week Two

I’ve found over the years my flesh has these funny little patterns. When my life feels out of control, I can become almost obsessed with finding a new planner or at the least new pages for my old planner. I’ll go from store to store visiting the planner sections and get online and visit all the planner websites and after several days of this it will dawn on me, a new planner is not going to restore peace to my heart. When I feel a little down or unsure, I find I want a good cup of coffee (coffee flavored cream actually). I will think about coffee throughout the day for days until suddenly I realize, the smell and warmth of this coffee can’t comfort my heart. When I went to the store to look at the guided journal to go with Captivating, I visited the Bibles. I have many Bibles in several versions already, but I was sure I needed a new prettier one, maybe in pink, but they didn’t have the version I wanted in pink. I was considering going to another bookstore on the way home that day, but felt I shouldn’t so I didn’t. When I was almost home, of course, still thinking about a new cuter Bible, the Lord, my Friend, so gently said, “You don’t need another Bible.” I knew it. I felt distant, like I couldn’t quite reach Him and was sure if I had a new Bible it would make me excited about reading about Him. I tried this last year, it didn’t work too well then either, that’s why I was going for a different version with an even cuter color. Isn’t He sweet to always reveal the truth and draw us right back to Him.

A few days ago, He said to me, “I’m the Pursuer.” I thought, Ok. He really has been excavating my heart and at that point in that day, I was numb. This statement didn’t evoke any tears from me, I didn’t really feel too moved by it at all. Then He continued, “You know that guy (before my husband) that pursued you and then when you’d respond, he’d reject you (this pattern continued over and over for about a year). That was the plan of the enemy, but I won’t reject you.” Immediately it all came back, emotionless at this point, but I remembered. The longing to be desired, the devastation of rejection, and the hours of crying myself to sleep at night completely empty and completely spent and alone. I would try to worship, but nothing. I gave every gift I had, every scripture I knew, every part of my soul and he was silent, thus I felt God was silent. My conclusion, I am unlovely, unloveable and something is wrong with me at my very core. This was not the first time I had arrived at this conclusion, this just reinforced my conclusion.

As I’ve read this book, I’ve felt like God’s in the book. Just looking at the cover, I can almost hear Him saying, Stephanie, you are captivating and I am captivated with you. Over the last few days I’ve begun to understand, He wants me. Just me as me. I always thought He wanted to heal me and transform me so I could become someone else, you know the person He saw I could be, because He sees the end from the beginning, and all those other verses that have become so twisted for me. No, no, no! He wants to heal me so I can be…me. Not someone else, just me-healed. I had a gold butterfly I wore on a necklace as a little girl, it was supposed to symbolize the new birth-a caterpillar to a beautiful butterfly. My favorite book as a two year old was creepy caterpillar who became the most beautiful butterfly. But I saw it as I needed to become someone completely different to please Him. But it’s not true. He wants me as me and He wants you as you. This is such a relief, doesn’t it just make you want to rest. I don’t have to “try and try harder (but fail anyway)”. I used to say that would be my epitaph, but not anymore. Now it can say “She was good. She was great! She was… herself.”

Week One...The Heart of a Woman

Hello, Devoted Girls. I hope you've all gotten your books. I must confess I haven't started my journal. It's been hard to stop reading to answer questions. I've read 3-4 chapters and keep trying to go back and reread from the beginning to answer the questions. God started excavating my heart last month and He has just continued to bring healing as I've been reading Captivating. Don't get all bogged down in the journal, the purpose is just to let Him heal you as you read and pray. Do whatever part of the journal you can. We'll finish just before Christmas and begin next year with unveiled souls. Remember, He's captivated with you and looks forward to every moment to draw you closer to Himself.

Your Invitation

As I prayed about what to do in my devotion time, my heart kept returning to the book Captivating. Once I began reading it, I didn't want to put it down. I was overjoyed about the lives of my daughters. That night as I slept I awoke at least five times because I heard someone in the room and as I awoke I heard "Captivating". I believe He came to visit me. There is a stirring in my heart about this book and living the life of a woman with an unveiled soul as the new year begins. I would love for you to join me.

His Future

Well, Devoted Girls, we've made it! It's the end of September. My husband and I can both tell changes in each other and he's asked me to continue in focused prayer for him. My heart feels like it's been excavated but it's definitely better than leaving all that junk in there. We have renewed vision and direction for several decisions. I'm so proud of us Devoted Girls for finishing and if you haven't then pray all the prayers at once and then go back and read later.

Mrs. Omatian wrote, "If your husband's eyes get so focused on the day-to-day details of living that he loses his vision for the future, your prayers can lift his sights." There really are no limits to what God can do through our prayers for our husbands. Our prayers will just continue to lift them to new levels while lifting us as well. Let's keep going, things are only going to get better and better!

His Faith

I don’t remember praying for David’s faith, but when I look at the scriptures I should. Jesus prayed for Simon that his faith would not fail (Luke 22:32). This sounds like our faith could fail, but when it doesn’t, Matthew 17:20 says, nothing will be impossible for us. This is where I want us to live--in the realm of impossibility.

His Self-Image

I loved this chapter. She said some things that really helped me and brought understanding. One, about how we should pray for God to help us speak to our husbands in the spirit and not in the flesh so they’ll receive it the right way. Another thing she wrote was that as we pray God will show us how to pray. My favorite line of the prayer was, “May his true self-image be the image of Christ stamped upon his soul.” We should all be praying this!

His Obedience

How many of you have noticed your husband doing something wrong and if you didn’t notice the enemy was quick to point it out? Now, how many of you tried to encourage him to be spiritual “like you” and he responded with a “Honey, thank you so much for revealing that to me I’m going to repent right now and ask God to give me clean hands and a pure heart?” Whatever!?! If you have we want you to post your comment immediately! Praying first, even if you need to say something is such good advice. Often women don’t pray about IF they should say something and they just skip to praying about HOW to say something and then when no answer seems to come from praying, because they’re not supposed to say anything, they wing it. It’s not pretty. Mrs. Omartian says, ultimately it’s God’s voice that has the greatest impact. It’s so true. OK, it’s time for the hanky ladies!

His Deliverance

Because He has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high because He has known My name. (Psalm 91:14) He sent from above, He took me; He drew me out of many waters. (Psalm 18:16) These verses are so wonderful. There is nothing God can not deliver our husbands from. He is a faithful God, our God of deliverances.

COMMENTS

Hey Devoted Girls!! I'd love to know what chapters you are on. If you have to, pray the prayers and save the reading for another time. If you've been reading and not posting I'd love to know. At least, "Hey, I'm reading" would be great! Hang in there the month is almost over and husbands are stirring. You're praying is having eternal effects!

His Repentance

Doesn't this seem like a dangerous prayer? This entire month of praying for my husband seems to be excavating my own heart. Mrs. Omartian says, "This kind of prayer can be annoying to the one being prayed for, but it's far easier to have God shine His light on our sin than it is to experience the consequences of it." So get ready for your own excavating!

His Talk

We all need this prayer. I've been praying about my words a lot lately. The verse that keeps coming up in my heart is the last verse of her prayer, "Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer. (Psalm 19:14)

His Walk

Everyday he chooses a path. The way he walks affects every aspect of his being-how he relates to other people, how he treats his family, how people view him, even how he looks.

When men learned to walk with the spirit of God and His image became imprinted on theirs, they developed a richness of soul, a glorious purity and an inner confidence of knowing what direction they were going. This gave them a strength and a sense of purpose...

"He who walks with wise men will be wise..." (Proverb 13:20)

Pray that he stays on the path by having faith in God's word, a heart for obedience and deep repentance for any actions he takes that are not God's will for his life.

May Your presence be like a delicacy he never ceases to crave.

In my favorite lines of this chapter, she seems to say it all.

His Emotions

I love the testimony of the woman praying for her husband, how from the first day, they both noticed that every time she prayed, his spirit lifted and soon they began to pray together. The word says, nothing is impossible to him who believes and all things are possible with God. God is just waiting for us to believe Him. He wants us to believe every word so He can be a part of every area of our lives. He is so great!!!

His Marriage

“Pray that God will make your marriage a source of joy and life to both of you…” This is so good. I don’t want mundane, I want Dave to look forward to talking to me. Most of all, I want him to think I’m hilarious and hilarious people are fun to be with it. It’s interesting as the years have gone by we added a dog, then a house, then another dog, then a baby then another, and of coarse there’s all those fish in heaven, some seasons haven’t seemed too funny but this is what I want. I want him to thrive in the atmosphere of our home, because of the joy and life he experiences here. The word says, laughter doeth good like a medicine. III John 2 says, Beloved I wish above all things that you prosper and be in health even as your soul prospers. I believe we can all have this, we just have to be willing to work at it.

His Attitude

"Give him a spirit of joy and keep him from growing into a grumpy old man." Doesn't just praying that make you laugh, but it is so true. Joy in the midst of circumstances does drive out the 'grumpies'. I've been thinking of putting a sign above my mantle with just one word "forgiveness" as a physical reminder of the sign that I choose to keep over the mantle of my heart. Yes, I'm back to forgiveness. But if we were ever conscious of His forgiveness wouldn't we live in joy, peace and sheer relief? Wouldn't we sense His great grace all day long and be quick to bestow it on others? I'm not talking about focusing on all we've done wrong, but on all He's done right. He ever lives to make intercession to the Father on our behalf. Calling us to come boldly to the throne of GRACE to find help in time of need, because His blood has been sprinkled on the MERCY seat in heaven and it cries 'FORGIVEN!', it cries 'PAID!', it cries 'RIGHTEOUS!', it cries 'I'M A JOINT HEIR WITH JESUS!' Are you now hearing the song in your head 'You know, it makes me wanna shout, come on now shout..." or did you see a congregation of excited women waving their hankies saying 'Umhuh! Come on Siss-ta! You go girl!'? Come on, tell the truth, who saw the hanky ladies?

His Past

This book has been bringing me such understanding even in my own life. I kind of feel like my heart is going through an excavation process while I'm praying for Dave. "While no one can pretend the past didn't happen, it's possible to pray for all the effects of it to be removed." I pray this for every one of us. I heard about a minister sharing on forgiveness and that we should pray like Jesus "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34) because they have no idea the effects their actions could have on the future. Is our unforgiveness crying "Crucify Him!" or everyday do we remind ourselves that the blood of Jesus paid for my sin the SAME as it paid for yours? That HE is alive in me to pour out forgiveness when I don't feel I can and remove all effects of sin and the past while redeeming our time as if we never sinned. He is alive in me and I choose Life.

His Fatherhood

Getting to know our Heavenly Father is the way to become a good parent. Praying to know the intimate love of our Father really is an ongoing prayer. Understanding God's grace and His correction certainly helps in decisions we make with our children. It's interesting to me the importance to God of honoring our parents, so it will go well with us all the days of our lives (Eph. 6:1-3) or by cursing your father and mother, your lamp will be put in deep darkness (Prov. 20:20). Unforgiveness opens so many doors. I've noticed that over and over in my life when I forgive, healing comes in, physically and emotionally. When we operate in forgiveness we open the door to light in every area of our lives. Maybe that's why it says, the spirit of a man is the candle of the Lord searching all the inward parts of the belly (Prov. 20:27).

His Relationships

OK, where do I start? What do you Devoted Girls think about this? I always joke, you can't make playdates for your husband, God has to send the friends. But at the same time do you want him to yourself? What about leaving and cleaving? Where does that put them in relation to their family relationships? Yes, I'd love to have comments. I just prayed the prayer and expected revelation.

His Priorities

I love these suggestions. Smile and hug him in the morning, ask him if there's anything you can do for him (and remember to do it), and asking him if there's anything you can pray about. Just remembering to do it can be an incredible accomplishment. It lets him know even though he's out of sight, he's not out of your mind.

His Reputation

I am realizing there are so many areas of Dave's life that I've been on the defensive instead of the offensive. I've had the attitude if someone attacks him THEN I'll pray. But I could be praying protection over this area of his life and he would never even have to deal with any problems. You know, we serve the God who sees ahead. Praise God for God. I'm growing from faith to faith.